Much of the research on self-care doesn’t come from mental health fields, but from nursing. It’s long been seen as a way to preserve overall health and prevent or manage chronic disease.
In practice, self-care is multifaceted. “The way I define self-care is the intentional, proactive pursuit of integrated wellness that balances mind, body, and spirit personally and professionally,” says Paula Gill Lopez, PhD, an associate professor and the chair of the department of psychological and educational consultation at Fairfield University in Connecticut, whose research focuses on self-care.
It’s about more than taking care of your physical health. “Just eating healthy isn’t enough anymore,” Patel says. “Things are moving so fast around us that we need space to self-care and slow down to rest from all the busyness in our lives.”
Just because a behavior is “good for you” doesn’t make it self-care.
“I recommend finding something you look forward to for self-care,” says Stephanie Freitag, PhD, a licensed psychologist in private practice based in Brooklyn, New York, and an adjunct assistant professor at Emory School of Medicine.
That might be something that supports physical health, like a certain type of exercise, or something that’s purely for joy, like a massage or regular dinners with friends.
The common denominator of self-care practices is that you get some enjoyment out of the activity, adds Marni Amsellem, PhD, a licensed psychologist in private practice based in Fairfield County, Connecticut.
Your perspective plays a role in determining what types of behaviors constitute self-care for you. For instance, let’s say you’re new to running and you set a goal of running 10 miles per week. The act of running itself may not be enjoyable and you may struggle through every minute of it as you’re getting started.
But if you get satisfaction from meeting your goals, it could still be worthwhile. If that practice allows you to say: Look at what I did today; I’m working toward my goal and that feels good — then that counts even if in the moment it doesn’t feel like self-care, Dr. Amsellem says.
Dr. Freitag points out that certain not-so-fun activities count as self-care, like prioritizing annual checkups and keeping the house clean. Again, these things might not bring joy in the moment — not for everyone, anyway — but they go a long way in boosting overall well-being and peace of mind.
In short, self-care refers to all the steps you take to tend to your physical and emotional health in the ways you are best able to do so.
“Good self-care involves doing the things that will help you operate at an optimal level,” says Shauna Pollard, PhD, a psychologist in private practice based in Rockville, Maryland. The activities you make part of your self-care routine should strike a balance between the activities that provide enjoyment once they’re done and the ones that bring immediate joy, she says.
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